Women on a Mission

Let's step toward kindness and a greater good.

“Oh no, no, no,” I said with a gasp as I read the September 18, 2020 CNN headline on my phone that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg had died.

I reached for the TV remote to flick on MSNBC, but really, I already knew the details. Ginsberg had fought cancer numerous times. The notorious RBG—87-year-old, top of her class in Columbia Law School graduate, medicine-ball-throwing, plank exercise aficionado, and lifelong quiet but mighty fighter for the rights of the underserved—had finally hung up her dissent collar for good.

Eleven days later, my phone pinged to alert me that Australian-born singer, Helen Reddy had died at age 78.

“Oh no, no, no,” I thought. “How could Helen Reddy die so soon?”

I swiped my iTunes app to pull up her seminal song, “I am Woman.” As I listened to the song that Helen wrote and released in 1972, I remembered pictures and videos of her from that period in which she looked young, strong, healthy, and confident, the perfect image for the feminist movement.

“That seems like yesterday. How could Helen Reddy have gotten to be 78?” I thought.

“Well, if you’re going there lady, how could you have gotten to be 62?” a little voice inside me chirped.

“But really. First RBG. Now Helen Reddy. What are the passing of these two popular feminists so close to each other telling me?” I thought.

“I think it’s pretty clear,” my inner voice continued. “These icons helped others, especially women. And now you're thinking just what have you done in your six decades on this Earth to help make the world better.”

"Dang. Maybe you're right," I thought.

“Okay, well I was president of my college sorority, rose to senior management at several companies before quitting to self-publish five female young adult mysteries," I began to rattle off in my head.

“Okay hold on there resume-builder. We know all that, but what was in your heart when you achieved those things?” my little voice interjected. “Did you do it for others? Or were you just chalking up achievements in your life journey journal?”

“Hmmm. Life journey journal,” I thought and chuckled. “Good one. Let’s write that down.”

“Hey! You who! Back to my question,” the insistent voice clamored. “Have you really done anything for folks beyond family? And don't get me wrong, helping family is great, but there are others out there who need help.”

“Okay, okay,” I thought. “Give me a second will ya?”

My mind drifted for a few moments.

“Okay, here’s one,” I thought.

“Alright, let’s hear it,” little voice directed.

"In 1988, I was back in Fargo from California for Christmas vacation, and having lunch with my mom when we were approached by a woman from my old Fargo job at Pioneer Mutual. She told Mom that I had helped women at the company get treated more equally," I thought. "She shared the story of when I learned that it was tradition for all the guys to take off a day to play golf, eat and drink while the women stayed behind at the office and worked. Upon learning that I asked to meet with the president and persuaded him to let me organize a women’s lunch and golf day on the same day as the men."

My inner voice was silent.

“Wow. There. See?” I thought. “I did something that was good for other women.”

“Okay,” my slow, but persistent little voice replied, “But who got more out of that? You or the Pioneer Mutual women? I mean who got credit for the win and who got to play golf?”

“Well I did,” I stammered.

“You can do better,” it said.

“You’re right, you're right,” I thought.

Over the next few weeks I felt deflated comparing myself to my female role models. I grappled with my doubts about whether I had or could make the world better.

Then this past Saturday, news broke that Kamala Harris would be the first black, Indian female Vice President of the United States. With my wife Kathleen out of town taking care of her mom, my little voice and I sat all alone together, glued to the TV watching nonstop news. We alternately laughed and cried all day.

“What’s up with this,” I sniffled, absent-mindedly reaching out to offer a tissue to my invisible sobbing sidekick.

“It’s obvious we are relieved and overjoyed,” my little voice said, wiping its nose on my sleeve.

“Yes, and hopeful,” I thought.

“I'll give you that,” it said, “What are you hopeful will come from this leadership change?”

“I’m hopeful for a kinder, truthful world,” I thought. “And I’m hopeful that we will soon see more evidence of everyone having an equal chance to succeed during their life on this planet.”

“There you go,” my inner voice said. “You’ve got your eye on good targets.”

“And by the way," it continued, "I want to circle back to our discussion the day Helen died.”

“Okay,” I thought, steeling myself for what my inner voice had to say.

“I was being hard on you because I want you to think more purposefully each day," it said. "It’s okay to achieve success and feel good about it as long as your personal achievements aren’t your sole goals. Never forget, working toward a larger purpose is always the most rewarding.”

"So I should also have soul goals and remember that small acts of kindness go a long way," I thought.

"Exactly," inner voice said.

"And one more thing. Most of the time you won’t know the positive impact you have when you help others," the voice continued, clearly on a roll. "You remembered the 1988 story because the woman told your mom about your positive impact. Don't worry about trying to remember what you have or haven't done in the past. Live in the present. Be mindful each day about being kind or working toward a greater good, and you will see it in yourself and others."

I’m pretty sure I felt a warm squeeze on my shoulder.

“You’re so right,” I thought as my tears gave way to a big smile.

“Of course I’m right,” it said, sighing. “Now go out and change the world one day at a time.”