Use Your Words and Don’t Bite.

As Zig Ziglar once said, "You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life."

“Don’t bite. Use your words, honey,” my sister Angie gently but firmly reminded her son when he was a genius-ly bright little red-headed munchkin who could become agitated when stirred, bumped, and kidded amid the chaos of our large, loud, close-knit family.

Under my sister’s consistent, loving guidance, my nephew Zach has grown into an extraordinary young man. Today, the Chicagoan is a bright, thoughtful, humorous, and highly sought-after mathematical data analysis expert.

Does Angie’s instruction to her young son more than twenty years ago speak to you?

It does to me. I made a career using my words. Graduating from North Dakota State University with a B.S. in business and communications, I chose marketing, advertising and communication positions with corporations that I felt would support my value to see and bring out the best in myself and others.

My last job was as the director of communications for a global technology company. I championed the corporate strategy and leaders of the company, writing and creating images for the CEO and group presidents as they communicated with our stakeholders of employees, customers, and investors.

For many years, I had a blast helping shape the voice of the company, using my words to inspire stakeholders, help them know and support our strategy, and to have faith in our company leaders. For employees, I created themes and phrases such as “Let’s create solutions, delight customers, surprise competitors and have fun along the way” because that rang true for what I wanted to do.

In 2014, when we announced that our business would be spun off a second time from a mothership, I used the phrase “It’s our time.” The CEO admitted at first he didn’t really feel akin to the simple phrase, but it grew on him as he tested it with employees.

You see, at the announcement of the second spin off, our employees felt discarded. They and others quietly and perhaps a bit fearfully described our business as old and stodgy--at our critical launch period--when we wanted to be viewed as new, innovative and important to the world.

“It’s our time” resonated with folks because finally our business would be THE company, not a small, non-central piece of some other company that used the profits from our technology to invest in solutions in other parts of the company. It was our time to invest in ourselves. It was our time to invest in solutions for OUR customers. We begin to see and speak of ourselves as a core business and technology enabler for companies around the world. It turned out, it really was our time.

It was thrilling to see how words motivated and galvanized teams. We had a very successful launch at the New York Stock Exchange and never looked back.

Sometimes I learned, words brought hope in our darkest hours.

In 2017, a wildfire attacked the homes of Sonoma County California employees and our headquarters’ campus. Blazing fast decisions, amazing commitment to, and support for, our affected employees, their families and community, coupled with communications helped employees and gave them hope.

One night about a week into the crisis, the Chief Marketing Officer told me she was stopped in her tracks with emotion when she read the CEO’s daily messages. She asked me what my secret was to write the messages that contained both compassion and content. I told her that I thought of what employees needed to hear and that the message was truly a team effort. Many people provided data and stories and I interacted with the CEO daily for direction.

But there was more to it. The thing was, I was impacted by that fire, but never in danger. I lost my office in the headquarters to the fire, but I worked 70 percent of my time from my home office in Colorado and wasn't there when the wildfire struck. Although the flames were over a thousand miles from my Colorado home, my heart pounded and my hands sweated as I performed my job during the emergency. I felt the desperation and fear as I spent the following days and nights, worrying about my California employees and colleagues, and a community I had come to love after spending many, many days and nights in Sonoma County over my career.

The peculiar thing was something awoke me that first fateful night Into morning. Stirred by intuitive uneasiness, I got on my laptop and phone before 4 a.m. and discovered the terrible news about the raging wildfire.

Immediately, my training and experience from other crises kicked in. I began building and executing our corporate crisis communication plan, working with other crisis team members as we mobilized. I was on the phone with company leaders and crisis team members as they ran first from the fire to survive and then bravely, immediately, with the help of the National Guard and local Firefighters and Police, turned to tromp back through burning embers and destruction to begin rebuilding and keep our global business and company “family” going strong.

So that evening when my CMO asked me what my secret was to writing under pressure during the intensely difficult time, I said, “If my words make the hair on my arms raise, if my words make me cry, if my words inspire me through my tears, then I know I have hit the tone and message for the CEO.”

It was that same test of feeling that I used two years later to decide to leave the company and “retire.” My wife Kathleen and I were ready for a change. I wanted to focus my writing and creativity on anything that I wanted to.

“It’s our time” rang in my ears again as I left my company headquarters for the last time, an evening in May 2018. The hair on my arms raised and I smiled through my tears of sadness leaving great people and a great company, but I was spinning off to a new adventure.

Since then, I have completed my fifth book in the “Cousins at Long Lake Mysteries,” and I am in the midst of writing my sixth book in that series. I started the series 12 years ago when I was still working, writing on weekends creating characters inspired by my three youngest nieces. My youngest niece turned 18 last week. The characters in my sixth book, like my nieces, are now grown up and this story has grown up with them. And with the help of another niece—I have a beautiful and bright bunch of them—I’ve also launched the “Judi Stoa Books” website and the blog that you are reading right now, my “Donchyaknow Life Lessons.”

So, yes, thank you, Angie. I am still using my words. And I haven’t bitten anybody in six decades.

And to each of you--I hope you use your words and think of others when you write to move them and yourself. In other words, leave a mark, but don’t bite.

Judi Stoa’s Donchyaknow Life Lessons to see and bring out the best in yourself and others.

Read More:

Website: Judi Stoa Books

Blog: Donchyaknow Life Lessons